Certain fears may be considered normal for certain age groups during childhood; however, the occurrence of certain fears in certain age groups may lead to problems. An example of this is separation anxiety.
It is normal for a child between the ages of 0-3 to experience stress when separated from their caregivers, and even situations where they do not experience it are not considered normal. As the child leaves their own environment, socializes, and learns to communicate with others, these fears are expected to decrease and end. As the child gets to know their environment and the people around them, learns to establish relationships with others, and feels safe, their fears disappear. However, in the case of separation anxiety, or separation anxiety, children aged 4 and over are seen to experience intense fear and anxiety when leaving home or their parents.
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What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety can be defined as the child's anxiety that is more than expected and recurring according to his/her developmental level due to separation from home or from the person he/she is attached to at home. It is usually a short-term condition that decreases over time. However, if it continues severely after the age of 6, takes up a significant place in the child's daily life, and physical complaints have increased significantly, professional support is definitely required.
How to Understand Separation Anxiety in a Child?
These children do not want to be separated from their mothers and continue their lives as if they are attached to them. Children with separation anxiety disorder may show intense and exaggerated reactions in separation situations. These reactions include crying, trembling, restlessness, expressing physical discomfort, and clinging tightly to the parent and refusing to leave. The family's consolations often fail to comfort him/her. And the fears expressed by the children are that something will happen to the child or the family, someone will be harmed, or the separation will be permanent.
What Causes Separation Anxiety in Children?
The attachment relationship that children develop with their primary caregivers can be one of the main causes of separation anxiety. Excessive dependency or insecure attachment problems between the parent and the child are among the causes of separation anxiety in children.
Events such as the illness, death or divorce of a parent can shake the child's sense of security. Situations such as moving to a new home, starting school or changing caregivers can increase the child's anxiety level. A parent who constantly provides security to the child can prevent the child from developing independent coping skills.
Children who experience this problem have difficulty going to school, have complaints such as stomachaches and vomiting, do not want to sleep alone and have very limited capacity to move on their own. Such problems are more common in overprotective and/or anxious families. The family's attitude can also trigger the anxiety experienced by children. At the same time, a mother and father's anxious attitude about the child, the environment or their own situation can further increase the child's anxiety level. In such a situation, it is of great importance that not only the child but also the family receives psychological support.
Treatment of Separation Anxiety
More than one treatment method can be applied to reduce the child's anxiety level and ensure that they develop healthy independence. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most effective methods for managing separation anxiety in children. The aim is to replace the child's negative and frightening thoughts with more positive and realistic thoughts.
In addition to expert psychologists, play therapies and individual therapies, family support and parental approach are also important. Family support is of vital importance in terms of alleviating separation anxiety and making it easier for the child to cope with this process. The attitude of the parents directly affects the child's ability to manage this anxiety.
Effective solutions that can be applied to alleviate or eliminate your child's separation anxiety:
- Try to understand the child's feelings and reassure them. Instead of belittling their anxiety, provide an environment where they can share their fears.
- You can gradually extend this process by getting your child used to short-term separations. For example, you can encourage them to stay with a relative for a while.
- Creating a certain routine during separations gives the child a sense of security. For example, it can be effective to use the same goodbye phrase every time you leave.
